do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize