Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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