But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
