I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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