it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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