I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
