3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
