I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
