Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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