I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
