Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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