WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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