I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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