have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
