I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
