I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
