I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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