I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
