Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
