yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
