Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
