I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
