pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
