I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
