the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
