i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize