Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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