Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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