found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
