White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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