her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YAS. BRING CRAB.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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