With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
