Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize