As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
