Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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