I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
