do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
