i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize