doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
