Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
