dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
