I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
