you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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