wanna go halves on a baby?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
