Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
