I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
