The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
