I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize