He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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