omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
only if we run a train.
done.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
