If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
