This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
