Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
