I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
