Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
