is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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