Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my being single is dangerous.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
