Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize