I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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