Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
