babies were throwing up all over the place
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize