dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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