you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize