yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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