I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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