Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
